1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she looked like the before picture.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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