Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
