I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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