Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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