Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
