The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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