Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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