Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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