Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There r osticjed everywhere
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
