lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
