So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
