I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize