So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
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I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
And then he peed in my hair
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