K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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