I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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