These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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