god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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