was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
