She said her name was "party"
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we're making bets on your personal life
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
