I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002