found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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