taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
