I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
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I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
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Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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