Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize