she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.