I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think this conversation is over.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?