I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion