Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
