PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....