she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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