New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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