Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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