She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize