Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
