I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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