Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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