; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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