the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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