Just fell off a train. Bad.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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