Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
