Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize