so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
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First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
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After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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