if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
