i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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