Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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