Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
