There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
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That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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