The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
