i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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