i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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