Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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