what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
