you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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