Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
