The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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