i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
