Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
