i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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