was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
