Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
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She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
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Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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