Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
